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If you’re mad scientist parents seeking to give your offspring an edge over their mad scientist peers, then dispatch your henchmen to fetch A Young Mad Scientist’s First Alphabet Blocks, the preeminent toy choice for budding evil geniuses, before your rivals do. Xylocopa Design, a small studio in Arizona that produces handmade items from natural materials, such as steampunk jewelry with movable wooden gears, is responsible for unleashing this award-winning indoctrination aid, the likes of which the world has never seen before.

The 26 letters of the alphabet are featured on five 1 3/8 inch square blocks — meaning that four sides appear twice — and are paired with appropriately iconic mad scientist images that introduce youngsters to the fundamentals of their future careers:

A — Appendages
B — Bioengineering
C — Caffeine
D — Dirigible
E — Experiment
F — Freeze ray
G — Goggles
H — Henchmen
I — Invention
J — Jargon
K — Potassium
L — Laser
M — Maniacal
N — Nanotechnology
O — Organs
P — Peasants (with Pitchforks)
Q — Quantum physics
R — Robot
S — Self-experimentation
T — Tentacles
U — Underground Lair
V — Virus
W — Wrench
X — X-Ray
Y — You, the Mad Scientist of Tomorrow
Z — Zombies

The illustrations are reminiscent of the painstakingly detailed etchings commonly found in old textbooks, and are laser-engraved onto the blocks. Despite the intricacy of the carvings, there are no sharp or splintery edges, and the corners of the blocks are sanded smooth to prevent injury. (After all, potentially maiming or fatal playthings, like chemistry sets and rayguns, should be saved for school-age children, at the very least.) Unlike the mass-produced alphabet blocks found in most stores, the Mad Scientist blocks are also completely non-toxic, free of any dyes, paint, finishes, or even preservatives. The appearance of shading is created entirely by the laser burning process. Considering the chaos they are intended to inspire, the blocks are ironically safe and eco-friendly. These solid wood blocks are cut from untreated Sugar Maple, so if they’re a bit sticky when they arrive at your lair, that’s just uncured maple sap residue, which is easily removed by pressing the blocks in a piece of paper towel. As a sweet bonus, this aromatic sap makes the toy smell like spiced cookies, and, as everyone knows, cookies are the traditional reward for turning to the Dark Side, which is basically a prerequisite for all mad scientists. (Test-licking was not conducted, so no idea if the taste of the blocks is as appealing as their scent.) A Young Mad Scientist’s First Alphabet Blocks are so well made, they’re bound to become an heirloom piece passed from generation to generation.

An instruction sheet that comes with the blocks, The Young Mad Scientist’s Guide, outlines amusingly embellished care and safety tips in addition to providing more practical information, and reveals a secondary use for the blocks: ROT13-style encryption. It’s a fun way to trade secret messages with other block owners, decoding is as easy as flipping blocks over to find the deciphered letters, and young mads can get an early start on learning cipher techniques that will protect their diabolical plans from prying eyes.

A Young Mad Scientist’s First Alphabet Blocks lay an essential educational foundation for the scientific community, and your chip off the old block could be one of its conquering cornerstones. Let the next wave of global domination begin, and all hail our new overlords-in-training!

Order directly through the Xylocopa Design website, or from ThinkGeek.

A Young Mad Scientist’s First Alphabet Blocks are distributed by Xylocopa Design.