from RiffTrax:
Are you a giant, cheaply-made monster looking for a nice place to terrorize? Your search is over: Crater Lake is the spot for you! Get your limp rubbery body down here, you’ll be feasting on mustachioed creeps quicker than you can say “AaaUUurgghh, I’m a monster!!” This small, sleepy community has everything you’re looking for. A sheriff who will refuse to believe in you until it’s too late. Uptight scientists that DO believe in you, for the sheriff to ignore. A pair of drunken hicks to provide aimless, misguided comic relief, and also be ignored by the sheriff. All this, and random unlikable tourists for you to snack on along the way! Just avoid choking to death on all the hideous 1970s facial hair, and you’ll have the time of your life.
Mike, Kevin, and Bill became the laughingstock of the scientific community for their fervent belief in The Crater Lake Monster. But they’ll show them, yes, soon they’ll show them all!!
Coming May 25th: The Crater Lake Monster!
There are some things in life that you’ll do without a second thought. Lend a friend a quarter. Help an elderly woman across the street. And if you’re like the lead character in The Devil’s Hand, join a satanic cult to sacrifice your fellow humans in the name of The Great Devil God Gamba.
Yes, when he encounters the owner of a mysterious doll shop, Rick Turner turns his back on his friends and family to embrace a life of voodoo in the name of the author of all lies. But to his credit, there wasn’t anything good on TV that night.
Once signing up for the cult, Rick is drawn into a sinister web of chanting and plodding drumbeats that make Meg White look like John Bonham. Will voodoo executions follow? They will! Will the victims relish the sweet embrace of death as a way to escape the incessant drumming? Probably! Should you immediately download this RiffTrax? The Great Devil God Gamba* commands** it!
*Mike, Kevin & Bill
**Humbly requests***
***OK, tearful begging
Coming June 1st: The Devil’s Hand!