Category: Reviews

The Best New Dramatic Web Series of 2009

2009 was a great year for the web series community, not only for the viewers but for the creators. The continued popularity of shows like The Guild, and a growing audience for short features likes those on Atom.com and Crackle.com, has encouraged filmmakers to take the Felicia Day do-it-yourself challenge.

Many of these filmmakers already had great stories, and a great cast and crew, but the video quality prevented these series from becoming mainstream hits. Now, with cinematic tools such as the RED digital camera coming down in cost, the production value of content developed for the web continues to go up, and people are definitely noticing. Web series are finally being taken seriously and, as excitement builds, the improvements are not only getting fans’ attention but potential investors’ attention. We even have an online network now, thanks to the launch of KoldCast, so we no longer have to sort through the hundreds of thousands of stupid human tricks and other low-quality, low-brow postings on sites like YouTube (which is still great for easy sharing and viewing but not easy to find new shows on unless you know what you are looking for).

While there were many great comedic web series released (O-Cast, Absolute Disaster, and Safety Geeks: SVI, for example), the dramatic productions truly made leaps this year. Not since Sanctuary has anyone successfully endeavored to produce such broadcast quality shows. Shows like the urban fantasy Lumina and the steampunk-inspired Riese have such beautiful, high-definition images that they could easily be re-edited to a longer format and broadcast on TV or released as a film, and anyone who didn’t know their web origins would never know the difference. When browsing user comments, over and over again people ask questions along the lines of, “where can I see this movie?” or “what network does this show air on?”

2010 promises to have many more high-quality web series worthy of network or cable TV and, hopefully, we shall see the return of many of our favorites. In anticipation of the great things to come in 2010, let’s take a look at five of the best new dramatic web series 2009 had to offer.

Riese

Riese:

Riese is a sci-fi/fantasy series richly influenced by history, mythology, folklore and steampunk. The series follows a young woman and her companion, a wolf named Fenrir, who travel through a collapsing world trying to piece together the fragmented memories of her past while attempting to evade the dangerous religious cult that hunts her.

Since it premiered in November, Riese has garnered much deserved praise and attention, and over one million views, in a relatively short time. The series is a visual and auditory feast with great attention paid to every detail, from the stitching of the wardrobe to the background noise in the high-definition sound. While some viewers with short attention spans were turned off by the slower pace and no dialog until the end of the first episode (who’s the girl going to talk to, walking through the woods with only her wolf as a companion?), those who stuck around for the action and the dialog were quickly wowed. Familiar faces in the Vancouver sci-fi scene appeared in Chapter 1, which wrapped with Episode 5 a few weeks ago, and Chapter 2, which premieres February 1st, is adding a slew of other familiar faces.

From co-creators Ryan Copple and Kaleena Kiff (who shares directorial credits with Nicholas Humphries), Riese features sci-fi regulars such as Christine Chatelain (Sanctuary,Supernatural, The Collector), Sharon Taylor (Smallville, Stargate Atlantis, Eureka), Patrick Gilmore (Stargate Universe, Battlestar Galactica), Ben Cotton (Harper’s Island, Stargate Atlantis, Taken), Ryan Robbins (Sanctuary, Caprica, Battlestar Galactica, Stargate Atlantis), Peter Kelamis (Stargate Universe, Dragon Ball Z, The X-Files), Emilie Ullerup (Sanctuary, jPod, Battlestar Galactica), Allessandro Juliani (Battlestar Galactica, Smallville, Death Note), Allison Mack (Smallville, Alice & Huck), and Gina Chiarelli (The Dead Zone, Masters of Science Fiction, The Outer Limits).

In my humble opinion, Riese is setting the bar for the new standard in web series production.

Lumina

Lumina:

Lumina is a dark fantasy-thriller that was filmed in high-definition with the RED camera on location in Hong Kong. Up until now, we’ve only seen North American offerings, with most web series coming out of LA or Vancouver. The first offering out of China is a freshman effort to be proud of. Lumina, from storyteller Jen Thym, is what I consider Urban Mythology (modern-day fairy tale), in the vein of that created in novels by Neil Gaiman and Charles De Lint.

Lumina Wong (JuJu Chan) is beautiful and works far too much; although she lives in a city of millions, she still feels lonely and isolated. Late one night, Lumina has a chance encounter with Ryder Lee (Michael Chan), a handsome young man from another world that she can only see in mirrors and darkened window reflections. She revels in the fantasy relationship until mirrorspy Eben Sanchez (Jacob Ziacan) comes into her life, warning her of the treacheries of the people of the Dark Realm. Soon Lumina must choose between the safety of the world she knows and the deadly allure of the unknown.

I’ve watched this series several times now, and every time I watch it I notice something new. Great attention was put into the visuals, making use of reflective surfaces, lighting and contrast. Lumina has been referred to as a “guilty pleasure” by some online magazines, and I have to agree. Most web series, especially with sci-fi or fantasy, don’t focus on romance, but in Lumina, the love story takes center stage.

Lumina is not only putting Asian-Pacific film-makers on the map, but musicians, too. Being a contemporary setting allows the series to draw on some great music from local Hong Kong artists such as Sense of Akasha and Tim Be Told (who has been touring the US this winter). Not only is Lumina a pleasure to watch, it will change the way you look at reflective surfaces everywhere you go.

The Vetala

The Vetala:

A contemporary supernatural thriller, The Vetala is the story of a college reporter who finds herself dead and then inexplicably alive again after being shot while hunting down a lead to expose the local criminal underground. Because the series drags on the mystery for a while, and I want to keep this a spoiler free zone, I won’t go into what a Vetala is, but if you are really curious, just Google it.

The Vetala is another entry from the Vancouver indie film industry and you might recognize a few faces (such as the lead, played by Candace Chase, who also appeared in a web series called The Ennead last summer). While the episodes are very brief (averaging five minutes), they get a lot of storytelling done in the seven episodes that make up Season 1.

With high-quality images and great set locations, The Vetala features a great soundtrack and some pretty fancy special effects and props. A mixture of mystery, cop show and thriller, it’s also kind of dark and creepy at times, and not only because of the supernatural elements.

The Vetala is a unique series and has a lot of room for more storytelling in the future. If you like scary movies (no, I don’t mean slasher films), check out The Vetala.

Compulsions

Compulsions:

Compulsions is a thriller that explores the lives of three seemingly average people who, unlike the rest of us who try to resist our darkest urges, give in to theirs. Mark appears to be a humble office worker, but he indulges his sadistic nature as a torturer and interrogator (for hire, we assume). His partner, Justine, brings him his “work”, and voyeuristic tech support worker Cassandra accidentally peeks into the wrong life at the wrong time.

While Compulsions is not sci-fi, it is a dark fantasy, in the loosest sense of the word. It’s stylish and artsy in a Blue Velvet kind of way, and Craig Frank, who is best known for his comedy sci-fi web series The Crew, shows off just how talented he is with a touch of Denzel class and creep à la Fallen. Compulsions is still making its media rounds and is receiving due praise. Hopefully we will see a Season 2 in 2010, as I am really curious about what Mark was trying to torture out of his victim. There are some graphic scenes in Compulsions, so beware, but if you don’t mind a little bit of blood, Compulsions is a compelling and polished drama well worth the media buzz it’s getting.

The Lake

The Lake:

The Lake is not exactly the type of show I would have expected myself to watch, let alone enjoy, but TheWB.com surprised me with this teen drama from executive producer and director Jason Priestley of Beverly Hills, 90210 fame.

For young adults, summer is a time of reinvention, romance, rivalries and friendships. Families come to Lake Eleanor to escape their daily lives back home; but will they only find more drama?

So, why did I like this show? It’s well-written (by Meredith Lavendar and Marcie Ulin, who wrote a couple of episodes of Defying Gravity) and well-acted by a very talented group of young people. Some of these teens are better actors than many of their much older peers currently featured in film and on television. I can see them going far. As a matter of fact, no offense to Kristen Stewart, I think the series lead, Heather Ann Davis, would have made a great Bella in the Twilight adaptations. She very believably pulls off vulnerable and traumatized, and aligned more with the image of Bella that I had in my head as I read the books.

The series is well-edited and well-paced, and packs so much story into each episode, without feeling crammed, that by the end of a typical 10-12 minute episode it feels like you’ve watched an hour-long family drama. It’s like all the good parts of shows like 7th Heaven, Party of Five and Gilmore Girls, without all the sappy melodrama and overacting peppered in. I had only planned to watch an episode or two to review, but found myself staying up late to watch the whole season in one sitting.

I haven’t seen anything about a second season yet, but I’m hoping for one. If it doesn’t happen, though, viewers won’t be too disappointed since it wraps up nicely enough that the first season feels almost like an after-school special or Lifetime movie-of-the-week. Again, not sci-fi, or even geeky, unless you count the adorable Drew (played by Devin Crittenden), who embodies the everygeek who longs to be cool enough to be noticed by the new girl in town. If you are ever looking for a feel-good teen romance, check out The Lake.

So there you have it, my five favorite dramatic web series from 2009. There were many other great dramatic web series, including The Ennead, condition: human and After Judgment, but as I began to write about them, as well, I felt more like I was writing an encyclopedia than a review.

I think these five new shows set a new standard in storyline, acting and production quality. The bar has been raised, and I look forward to seeing who can meet or exceed it in 2010.

The Book of Eli

by Rebecca McCarthy

Post-Apocalyptic Movies, My Achilles’ Heel

I love a good apocalyptic movie. Everything from Mad Max to Zombieland, I eat it up. I even read apocalyptic novels. Cormac McCarthy’s The Road, Max Brooks’ World War Z, I love the whole genre. Maybe it appeals to some deep-seated wish that if the shit hits the fan I’d be able to be the prepared protagonist, finally useful in the new world instead of being just another cog in the present one. That or I just love the action. (I should note that I can also appreciate the pristine future of Star Trek, but unless an alien race like the Vulcans actually reveals themselves to humanity or giant telepathic squid monsters get dropped on Earth I just don’t see the future ending up so clean.) Either way, I love apocalyptic films. So when I heard that not only was The Book of Eli another post-apocalyptic story with Denzel Washington, but this book that Eli is carrying might also be the Bible, I knew I had to see this movie. To my great surprise, I was able to enjoy the movie as an action flick without feeling insulted or pigeonholed as a Christian. That, more than anything, makes this a surprising movie.

Religion in general seems to have gotten a bad reputation in Hollywood and most movies will take religious stereotypes to the extreme. This means that most Christians are portrayed as close-minded, loudly-opinionated bigots who are usually the antagonists, Bible-beating the heroic brow of some sympathetic protagonist. It’s an insulting image created around the squeaky wheels in the religious world that usually get the metaphorical oil from the press, and unfortunately it’s what I and most movie-goers have come to expect to see on the big screen. The Book of Eli sets that stereotype aside, placing the idea that Denzel Washington’s character Eli is a Christian into the background and focusing on the task at hand. This makes for a movie that both I and my self-proclaimed secular boyfriend were able to enjoy without either of us feeling uncomfortable. This, my friends, is an amazing first.

Eli is set in a post-fallout, Mad Max sort of world where food and water are scarce and the roads are filled with robbers turned cannibals. There are hints throughout some of the movie’s dialog as to what happened, but the writers don’t try to over-explain anything, which makes the situation more believable for me. The “whys” in these situations don’t matter as much as the human reaction to the disaster and the reconstruction of the new order, because ultimately stories are about human nature, right? We are shown a little of Eli’s suggested daily routine as we watch Denzel kill a hairless cat for food, search an abandoned house, charge up his iPod with an old battery (which kind I have no idea. I’d be useless in an apocalypse; I like conditioner, chapstick and Oreo cookies), and read from his book. I’ve always been a fan of Denzel, especially after seeing him in Man on Fire, so his very presence in this film gives it serious points.

To top things off the villain is Gary Oldman. This man has played some of the best villains, in my opinion. I especially loved him in that BMW commercial where he plays Satan. Remember when BMW had that series of commercials by famous directors? Maybe I have too much time on my hands. Trust me, Oldman is a fantastic villain. He plays Carnegie, the tyrannical leader of a motley new town of survivors (think, “Who runs Bartertown?”), made up of those who are not eating human flesh. Carnegie is looking for a very specific book that he can use, to quote Marx, as the opiate of the people. Carnegie recognizes the power this book can hold over his fiefdom and he wishes to use it as a weapon to keep control and to expand his town. Since most Bibles were burned, Eli’s really is the last, which leads to pretty much all of the conflict in the movie. Still, Gary Oldman against Denzel Washington is a wonderful pairing.

The cinematography is stunning. There are some beautifully shot fight scenes in this movie that just blew me away. (I told you I like the action.) The first fight scene with Denzel under the overpass, all in silhouette, is genius. The camera also moves about the movie in interesting ways, especially during the Gatling gun scene. You’ll just have to see what I mean — it’s great. Really, it’s kind of hard to review this movie because I don’t want to give anything away this time.

Now, since I’ve gotten all of my giddy praise out of my system, it’s time to talk about what disappointed me. Come on, as opinionated as I am did you really think the movie was going to get away without any complaints? I have to nitpick, and in this case the nit looks very much like Mila Kunis. Sorry, Kunis, loved you in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but you just don’t have the screen power of Denzel or Oldman. Kunis’s character, Solara, is supposed to have been born after the great apocalyptic event. That is fine. However, there is something horribly modern about Kunis that just can’t be hidden, no matter how old the clothes or how much dust you put on her. Kunis’s mannerisms just didn’t seem to gel with a low-tech, human-eat-human world. Granted, there could be the argument that Solara was raised in the makeshift town under the protection of Carnegie, so maybe she would still have a bit of privileged teen clinging to her personality, but at times that felt like a stretch. Still, she didn’t detract enough to spoil anything, and every movie has a hitch, right?

All in all, I would have to say that The Book of Eli was a good movie in the usual post-apocalyptic fashion. It was refreshing not to see the Christian stereotype, and the writers were able to be perfectly subtle on the issue, never really throwing anything in your face, which allows you to be able to watch and enjoy the movie even if you aren’t a Christian yourself (my boyfriend was the perfect guinea pig for that). There really isn’t much more I can say without spoiling the movie for you. The very end is a little cheesy, so be prepared for that, but after so many good action scenes it’s easy to forgive. Really, if you are in the mood for an action movie, if you liked Mad Max or The Road, then this should be up your alley. Did I mention that the fight scenes were really good? They are.

“RiffTrax Live: Plan 9 from Outer Space” DVD

RiffTrax Live: Plan 9 from Outer Space

RiffTrax‘s first nationwide riffing, RiffTrax Live: Plan 9 from Outer Space, is now available on DVD. What is RiffTrax, you might ask?

RiffTrax is an innovative site featuring the hilarious DVD commentaries of Michael J. Nelson — star of the legendary Mystery Science Theater 3000! At RiffTrax.com, you can download feature-length commentaries by Mike (plus other stars of MST3K and guest celebrities) and listen to these “RiffTrax” in sync with your favorite, and not so favorite DVDs. It’s like watching a movie with your funniest friends!

If you weren’t lucky enough to catch the live performance, this DVD is your ticket to what you missed. Geek fixture Veronica Belmont, host of Internet shows Tekzilla and Qore, emcees the event, presenting RiffTrax Live and the cast — not that the stars of RiffTrax really need an introduction. Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett are long familiar to fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000, where Mike was the successor to host and show creator Joel Hodgson, and Kevin and Bill served as the second voices of robots Tom Servo and Crow. After taking to the stage and engaging in a bit of patter with the clearly excited audience, the trio launches into the pre-feature short film, Flying Stewardess, a 1940s-era training documentary that’s apparently shot in an alternate universe where travellers are treated to spacious seating, personally cooked meals, full beds and turn-down service on night flights, and breakfast in what appears to be an onflight bistro. As if that wasn’t enough material to mock, the film is also ripe with sexism and has a meandering narrator that the riffers really sink their teeth into. Airing after Flying Stewardess is Flour & Grain Expo, the first of the live show’s fake sponsor commercials created by Somethingawful.com’s Rich “Lowtax” Kyanka. This ad, and the later Berry Watch, spoof the low-budget ads common to public access television, and are arguably the weakest portion of the evening’s entertainment (along with a prize giveaway that could have easily been trimmed from the DVD), so luckily the next segment is a brilliant set from musical guest Jonathan Coulton. Choosing songs to fit the Plan 9 from Outer Space theme, Coulton sings “The Future Soon” and “Re: Your Brains”, inviting the audience to participate in the latter song’s refrain of “all we want to do is eat your brains” while Kevin Murphy does an increasingly amusing impersonation of a zombie to cue the audience to their line. At this point in the show, audience energy noticeably starts to pick up, with camera pans revealing attendees laughing out loud and singing along with big smiles on their faces. Jonathan Coulton then joins The Rifftones, the RiffTrax crew’s singing group, to perform “Plans One Thru Nine”, an introductory song to Plan 9 from Outerspace that leads neatly into the main feature.

RiffTrax Live: Plan 9 from Outer Space uses the newly colourized version of Plan 9 from Outer Space from Legend Films, which is a bit disappointing for fans of the original black-and-white film, especially since a track of the original, unriffed movie isn’t included on the disc like it was on RiffTrax‘s studio production of Plan 9 from Outer Space. As one person posted on Amazon, though, “If you want to be a purist just turn off your color bar and see it in the original GLORIOUS B&W version as originally released by Ed Wood to theaters in 1959.” The riffing on the film, however, is top-notch, as one would expect from veterans of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Granted, with Plan 9 from Outer Space, the masterpiece of B-movies, the jokes practically write themselves. Audience members giggle from time to time in spots where a riff hasn’t been made, because what is happening on the screen is still funny without any witty commentary. The riffers occasionally appear throughout the movie in three panels that pop up on the left side of the screen (ideally, being a live show, they would have been on-screen at all times), allowing viewers to see their expressions and gestures as they perform, which is fascinating for movie-riffing fans used to just seeing silhouettes or hearing disembodied voices. It’s particularly fun to see them crack each other up or run with a flubbed line. You’ll need to watch the film a couple of times to catch everything, because when the performers are visible, the tendency is to watch their antics instead of the film.

The DVD is very well-designed, with “Plans One Thru Nine” playing in the DVD’s main menu, and Jonathan Coulton’s songs enhancing the Scene Selection and Special Features sub-menus. The special features are uncut versions of the Flour & Grain and Berry Watch commercials, and a behind-the-scenes slideshow, which consists of captioned, still pictures taken during preparations for the show. As an extra bonus, a coupon for a free RiffTrax Download of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is tucked inside the DVD case, so you can try out one of the site’s regular riff offerings, if you haven’t already.

Hopefully RiffTrax Live: Plan 9 from Outer Space is the first in a series of RiffTrax Live DVDs, and December’s RiffTrax Live: Christmas Shorts-stravaganza, a holiday collection of short films with special guest riffer “Weird Al” Yankovic, will soon follow. RiffTrax‘s fellow riffers, Cinematic Titanic, recently released their own live DVD to much success, so there’s obviously a market for this new style of riffing.

Pre-order at Amazon.com:
RiffTrax Live: Plan 9 from Outer Space

Or order directly through the RiffTrax website.

RiffTrax Live: Plan 9 from Outer Space is distributed by RiffTrax and Legend Films.

Avatar — Dances with Wolves Meets Dune in 3D!

Avatar

by Rebecca McCarthy

I suppose I should warn everyone that this review will be drowning in spoilers, although since this movie is only worth seeing in all of its big-screen-3D-wonder, if you haven’t seen it yet then you are getting what you deserve. I, for one, saw Avatar on opening day. It wasn’t by design, mind you. A friend called and asked if I wanted to go see a cool 3D movie, and the answer to such a question must always be yes. Ever since I was a year old and my parents slapped a pair of 3D glasses on my face and took me to see Jaws 3-D (at which I promptly fell asleep), I have been a huge fan of the 3D movie. Technology and my attention span have both improved since then. Avatar is insanely pretty to watch, which means that at first it completely distracts you from the dusty old cliché that is the plot.

Avatar was so distractingly pretty that for the first thirty minutes I didn’t have a single complaint. I wave my hand in front of my face a couple of times to watch it pass through the little 3D leaves, the effects were that amazing. However, such amazement couldn’t last. My boyfriend leaned over and whispered, “Why can’t the natives ever save themselves?” The crashing sound I heard was my bubble bursting, and I was forced to ask myself just what was Avatar actually saying up to this point? It was kind of like going out on a blind date, I was so overjoyed to discover that my date was gorgeous that I completely overlooked everything he said until my waiter pointed out that my date was trying to eat the tablecloth. Actually, if Avatar was metaphorically eating the tablecloth that would have been more interesting than the truth, which is that the plot was simply over-used cliché and the foreshadowing so obvious that I predicted the rest of the movie before we hit the midway point. The rest of the time I spent whispering to my boyfriend about what would happen next as if I were some kind of cinema oracle. Even that got old.

How is the plot cliché? Well, let’s start from the beginning. First we have our hero who is a crippled ex-soldier brought into this scientific off-world experiment because his twin brother, the scientist, was killed and they have matching DNA. This sets up that our guide for this story is both new to the project (allowing the perfect excuse for every supporting character to explain what’s going on to both the hero and the audience) and still an “every man” that the typical movie-goer can relate to; let’s call him Joe Snuffy.

Joe is sent to this new planet called “Pandora” (hehe, that’s supposed to be funny. You know, the whole mythological box filled with badness that’s opened… never mind, just trust me, it’s funny). There is this super material that we humans are mining that is only found on this planet, let’s call it spice (for all you Dune fans who know the similarities). Apparently a large quantity of this spice just so happens to be sitting directly under the native village, and we humans being the capitalist pigs that we are have sent a corporation with the support of a paramilitary organization (think Blackwater) to negotiate the natives off their land so we can tear down their forest and make lots of money. Humans can’t breathe the air, plus every living thing on the planet is a super-charged killing machine, so the scientists stole native DNA, fused it with a little human DNA, to grow hybrid bodies that they could then jack into using high tech computer know-how. (Is it me, or does that seem a little wrong to you?) So now Joe Snuffy gets to link into the matrix and go running around in the heart of darkness with his borrowed alien legs.

Enter pretty native girl. Since the first native Joe meets just happens to be the daughter of the tribal leader, and she also saves Joe’s life due to some spiritual sign, we will call her Pocahontas. No, that’s too long; we’ll call her P for short. P gets the indigenous people to accept Joe’s stolen alien body into the tribe and she teaches him about her people. They just happen to be naturalists, believing all life is connected and relying upon a great Mother. Well, they believe all life is connected because that happens to be physically true in this world.

By some fluke of evolution or bad design of the great mother, the living creatures of this planet happen to have their brainstems dangling from the outside of their bodies. By wrestling an animal down and forcing a brainstem mind-meld on them a native can make a connection with the animal which makes the animal theirs for life. When we heard this brainstem connection explanation a friend leaned over and asked, “What’s with the bestiality?” I thought it was a valid question.

Back to the clichés, the military types are getting impatient, and so is the corporation head. They gave Joe three months to convince the natives to get out of their big tree and mosey on, and Joe was too busy jumping animals, and P, to even casually mention the potential invasion should the natives not leave. The portrayal of the military in this movie is not a cuddly one, so naturally Joe gets himself accepted by the tribe just in time for the big bad general to decide that he has waited enough. He is going to blow up the big tree.

So where does this leave us? Oh, yeah, when the natives see the humans blowing things up they feel a little betrayed and when P’s father is caught up in the explosion and has just enough dying breath to pass the care of the tribe on to P, she tells Joe that she never wants to see him again. (Or something equivalent to that.) But it’s okay because it was already foreshadowed that Joe has to tame this flying dino-bird that is basically akin to the great white of the skies. P’s great-grandfather was the only alien to ever force his brainstem on this creature, and because his bird was the biggest he was able to unite all of the tribes and was considered a great spiritual leader, so naturally some white guy from Earth will be able to pass as the alien messiah, right?

Do I hear some bubbles bursting? Yes, that’s right my friends and neighbors, Avatar teaches us that the indigenous people have to humble themselves and accept help from the Man so they can fight off, well, more of the Man in order to save their natural habitat. Should I even keep going with this? Cameron tries to take on every possible issue in this movie. Let’s see, first there is the whole “corporations are evil” business, with a nice big helping of imperialist critique layered on, but there is also a lot of environmental talk, especially when Joe tells the great mother how there is no green left and how, “We [being humans] killed our mother.” Oh, I also loved the scene where the mean general is pumping up his troops for war and says, “We will fight terror with terror.” I wonder what James Cameron is trying to say there? Then again, it’s Joe’s prayer to the great mother that gets answered. Why his and not one of the natives’? Why can’t the natives save themselves?

And that is the major problem that I have with this movie. I understand the need to have an outsider as the guide for the plot — the audience needs someone who needs the explanations — but the movie usually isn’t just about that outsider but about the community he enters, and typically the grand events surrounding that community shouldn’t change just because they have a new teammate. This is going to sound horrible, but this is where The Last Samurai got it right. Yeah, it’s a long shot to believe that Tom Cruise would be accepted into the samurai’s culture, but his acceptance didn’t change their fate. Cruise’s character was simply there as our eyes, but the events surrounding everything were bigger than him, as most events are typically bigger than just one man.

So in Avatar this one guy was the difference in this whole war? This one white guy gets on the scene and then suddenly the native race with just sticks and stones is able to overcome the whole supercharged human army? Really? If they could do that couldn’t they have done it without Joe Snuffy leading the charge? It was insulting. Even the ending was so incredibly predictable. (This too seemed like another back-handed insult. So the crippled guy can’t stay crippled, huh? Just had to get him legs.) If all you want to see is the shiny new technology then, yeah, go see Avatar. However, if you are interested in plot and want to see a similar movie, but better, go rent The Last of the Mohicans.

Victory: Scientific Adventure Violence for Young Men & Literate Women

Victory: Scientific Adventure Violence for Young Men & Literate Women

Dr. Grordbort (aka Weta) presents Victory: Scientific Adventure Violence for Young Men & Literate Women, a quasi-sequel to Doctor Grordbort’s Contrapulatronic Dingus Directory, both written and illustrated by steampunk visionary Greg Broadmore.

The year’s foremost journal of progressive armaments and weaponry! Behold the latest line of defense captured in action!

[…]

Filled to the brim with first hand tales of exploration and progress from the great heroes of our time, picture strips of unimaginable escapades on the frontier, never-seen-before portraits of dazzling damsels and monstrous villains, and laudable accounts of man and robot pitted against our greatest enemy (the uncivilized world), Victory is an onslaught of action-packed scientific adventure in full-spectrum color — containing facts that every boy and literate girl should know.

Written and illustrated by Weta Workshop Conceptual Designer Greg Broadmore, this book sumptuously details a science-fiction history that never was. Hearkening back to the classic sci-fi serials of yesteryear, it reveals the backstories and mythos of Weta Limited’s highly limited ray gun collectible line.

Whereas the Contrapulatronic Dingus Directory was mainly a catalogue of raygun designs, Victory fleshes out the world of Dr. Grordbort a bit more. Labeled as Volume 127, this oversized hardcover book is done in the style of a British annual, and is full of stunning, full-colour art that’s available to sample in an online preview. The pages are printed on heavy hardstock, and if you’re the sort of savage who’s okay with dissecting books to obtain some frameable art, then Victory will provide you with a gallery of choices.

Be forewarned: this book contains a very un-PC reimagining of the universe, so if you’re easily offended, or squicked out by pictures of aliens being graphically blown to smithereens, then you should probably search out tamer reading material. However, if you have a very good, albeit warped, sense of humour, then you’ll find Victory to be a jolly good romp.

Join Lord Cockswain for a Spot of Virtual Venusian Vapourisation is a print version of the online target practice simulator Blast a Buffoon, with the book leaving a blank space for you to draw in your own Venusian target. Life in the British Colonial Expeditionary Forces takes a brief look at the daily life of a soldier, while Know Your Enemy profiles the Venusians that the boys of the BCEF are up against. Adapted from the Dr. Grordbort’s website are A Bestiary of the Cosmos: The Wildlife of Venus, and the wonderfully tongue-in-cheek weapon Testimonials. Web comics “Lord Cockswain: M’Gulu in Peril!”, a five-part serial, and the one-shot “Lord Cockswain: On the Application of Rayguns” are reproduced in Old Timey Compartmentalised Picture Essays, and there’s a one-page feature similarly called On the Careful Application of Rayguns, which is a guide to properly caring for, and thereby possibly reducing the risk of maiming yourself with, a Grordbort raygun. Graphic short stories that were created new for the book are “Lord Cockswain in… Venusian Vengeance” and “Lord Cockswain in… The Mountain of the Moon Menace”, two tales of Lord Cockswain’s signaturely inept and destructive approach to leading missions. Hall of Gits, portraits of personalities from the world of Dr. Grordbort, gives readers a glimpse of Cockswain’s equally hapless peers. Also included in the book are a selection of propaganda posters, one done by a guest artist, and the invaluable How to read the signs of Robotic Rebellion!, which lists the (obvious) signs that your robot manservant may have overridden the first Law of Robotics, namely that “a robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.” No book bearing the Dr. Grordbort’s logo would be complete without a bristling display of weaponry, and Victory doesn’t disappoint, introducing three impressive Grordbort tanks — the Greased Weasel, The Remorseless, and the Gargantutherium VII — that range from lightweight to terrain-crushing behemoth. A selection of upcoming rayguns is catalogued, as well:

  • Silver Mantiss 99se Thin Cone Death Beam — a second raygun for ladies, following the Victorious Mongoose 1902a Concealable Ray Pistol, with a silver mirror finish.
  • Grordbort 66 Sonic De-Stabiliser — a copper-coloured raygun, its silver handle carved with a Chinese dragon.
  • Pomson 6000 Sub Atomic Wave Gun — The Unnatural Selector‘s more futuristic-looking successor, with lots of shiny red metal, chrome trim, and a top fin.
  • Saturn 67 Luminiferous Aether Igniter — a utilitarian raygun that looks like a cross between a pistol and a crude taser.
  • Righteous Bison Indivisible Particle Smasher — a model already released as Weta’s first plastic raygun, but perhaps a metal version is on the way?
  • Silent Banshee Infra Wave Atom Corrupter — a minimalistic raygun with a cone-shaped muzzle and silencer, ideal for assassins.

In addition, there’s a two-page spread for Lord Cockswain’s Ray-Blunderbuss “The Unnatural Selector” that lavishly showcases the blustering adventurer’s favourite weapon.

If you already have the Contrapulatronic Dingus Directory on your bookshelf, then you’ll naturally want a copy of Victory to join it. For fans of steampunk, sci-fi, and retro art, both books are indispensable additions to your library.

Order now at Amazon.com:
Victory: Scientific Adventure Violence for Young Men & Literate Women
Doctor Grordbort’s Contrapulatronic Dingus Directory

Or order directly through the Weta website, or Dark Horse Comics (search keyword: “weta”).

Victory: Scientific Adventure Violence for Young Men & Literate Women and Doctor Grordbort’s Contrapulatronic Dingus Directory are distributed by Weta Publishing, in partnership with Dark Horse Books, a division of Dark Horse Comics. For more information, please visit the official Dr. Grordbort’s website.

Mana Energy Potion

Mana Energy Potion

When I first saw the Mana Energy Potion on a gaming website many moons ago, I desired immediately to try it but, alas, the opportunity to do so did not present itself. For months, as I saw advertisements for it, I looked on longingly, wondering what it would taste like and how effective it would be on someone like me for whom caffeine has little or no effect.

As one of those “hyper-active kids” growing up in the 70s, I was prescribed the common treatment for children such as myself — coffee. It effectively calmed my internal fires down from raging inferno to pleasant glow, pleasing the grumps (grown-ups). Because of its lulling effect on me, I was frequently dosed to keep me calm and manageable. I did not, however, mind this medicine because I found the flavor enticing and most satisfactory, and even frequently medicated myself (though I didn’t realize that is what I was doing at the time) as I crawled from lap to lap of every coffee drinker in the family and nursed their warm, sweet cups of java (thus this “treatment” became the root of my life-long coffee passion).

Copious amounts of caffeine tends to have the opposite effect on me that it does on normal mortals. For example, it takes about 10 shots of espresso (approximately 700 MG caffeine) to get me hyper for about half an hour, but then I’m practically narcoleptic after the effects wear off and it seems more like a sleeping draft than an energy boost. The only thing I’ve found in my search for restorative elixirs that truly gives me the desired energy boost is sushi (and toasted seaweed). Thus, the mystery of Mana Energy Potion continued to intrigue me every time I saw it.

Finally, my quest for attaining my very own Mana Energy Potion has come to fruition. A coworker of mine (one of only two geeks I’ve discovered here so far) struck up a discussion with me on break today. She had a bottle of Mana Energy Potion with her and when she saw how excited I was to see it, she gifted me with said bottle. I took a sip right away, so as to partially quench my curiosity, and forced myself to save the rest for when I had scroll and quill in hand and could properly record my newly discovered insight.

My initial thought of this tasty, sea-green Mana Energy Potion was that it was tart without being sour and sweet without being sugary. Upon further indulgence of the small ampoule, I ruminated on its other qualities. Mana Energy Potion’s texture is lightly syrupy yet washes away clean from the pallet and its flavor is mildly fruity with a lingering citrus hint. Its aroma is similarly fruity. It reminds me of something else I have had but, as of yet, the memory of what that something else is remains elusive.

While Mana Energy Potion does contain caffeine, it relies mainly on a combination of vitamins and enzymes to provide its energy boost. While it is brimming over with vitamins, it tastes nothing at all like medicine like so many other vitamin-infused tonics tend to taste. Now, here, some hours on after imbibing my draft of Mana Energy Potion, I can truly say I am still feeling its effects. I feel nearly giddy with energy and dare say it’s affected my mood positively as well. I have not found anything nearly so effective at renewing my vigor and enhancing my mood, and am seriously considering adding this potent potion to my daily routine. If it can have this effect on one such as I, who is typically immune to such concoctions, I can only imagine what its lively effect would be on other adventurers while they are questing in dank dungeons or raiding in mountain citadels. Having now imbibed this potent draft, I believe I must concur that Mana Energy Potion is everything they claim it is, truly Magic!

You can learn more about procuring your very own Mana Energy Potion at manapotions.com, or look for it in your favorite gamers den.

Futurama: The Complete Collection 1999-2009

Futurama: The Complete Collection 1999-2009

Good news, everyone! In honour of Futurama‘s 10th anniversary, an ultimate box set of the series, Futurama: The Complete Collection 1999-2009, has been released into the cosmos.

Once there was only the cold void of space. Then: Ka-Pow! The Big Bang exploded with the force of over two dozen firecrackers, and The Complete Futurama Collection sprang into being! It’s the entire classic series from The Simpsons creator Matt Groening, featuring 72 uncut episodes and 4 epic, feature-length adventures, all on 19 glorious discs. Plus: A massive assortment of extras so vast, it creates its own gravitational field from which no viewer can escape. So grab a can of Slurm, settle into your command centre, and experience the future… in its entirety!

This set gathers together the previously released Volumes 1-4 box sets, and the four films — Bender’s Big Score, The Beast with a Billion Backs, Bender’s Game, Into the Wild Green Yonder — that make up Season 5 of Futurama in TV syndication. The special features are recycled, too, but they’re all worth another look and there are a lot of them to enjoy, including a full-length audio commentary for each episode and movie (accessed under Language Selection in the menus); deleted scenes; storyboard, character art and “How to Draw” galleries; animatics, 3-D models, pencil tests, featurettes, and infinitely* more. (Small print on the box: *Quantity Not Actually Infinite.) The “more” consists of an annotated script, the Futurama video game trailer, a screen that deciphers the Alien Alphabet, alternate material, table reads, international language clips, interviews, a Futurama-based math lecture, an animated promo for An Inconvenient Truth starring Bender and Al Gore, Futurama: The Lost Adventure, blooper reels from recording sessions, the Futurama Genetics Lab game, the parodic shorts Bender’s Anti-Piracy Warning and Bender’s Movie Theater Etiquette, and sneak peeks. A full-length episode of Everybody Loves Hypnotoad is definitely the most creative and unusual of the bonus goodies, expanding upon one of Matt Groening’s favorite characters. In addition to all these special features, many of the fully animated menus contain Easter Eggs or feature in-jokes and other info in the backgrounds.

The new part of this set is its limited edition packaging, a giant plastic replica of Bender’s head (with detachable rubber antenna) that opens in the back to reveal a vertical DVD rack. The case’s slots are a bit of a tight squeeze, making the top and bottom discs slightly tricky to slide out, but the futuristic design looks great and the hatch door is padded on the inside to keep the discs snug and secure. It’s somewhat surprising that a sound chip wasn’t installed so Bender could spout his famous “bite my shiny metal ass” phrase, but the head is such an impressive display piece that this small oversight can be forgiven. For collectors who like to leave their collectables in the box, the cube that Bender’s head comes in adds another layer of Futurama reference, its clear windows and bubble-filled side panel images creating the illusion that Bender has joined the ranks of the show’s head-in-a-jar characters.

Also contained in this package are an episode guide booklet, and a numbered letter (which reveals that the set’s edition size is 25,500 units) from series co-developers Matt Groening and David X. Cohen:

March 28, 2009

Gracious Viewer,

Grab a can of Olde Fortran and jump aboard the party blimp, for today marks exactly ten years since Futurama was first broadcast!

A lot has changed over the past decade. Back in 1999, some of our younger viewers hadn’t even started graduate school yet. Videotape had not yet given way to the superior technology of DVD, which had not yet given way to the superior technology of stealin’ stuff off the Internet. And a little-known Vice President by the name of Al Gore was about to burst onto the scene as a cartoon voice-over star.

Yet, during this tumultuous ride into the future, some things have remained constant — namely, the unwavering support, steady encouragement, and incessant nitpicking of you, our loyal viewers. And thus, in a very real, very contrived sense, you are the rocket fuel that has launched Fry, Leela, and Bender on the many adventures within this collection. So please, sit back, shut up, enjoy the show, and accept a double-helping of our most sincere gratitude.

Your Humble Overlords,

Matt Groening & David X. Cohen

If you’ve already bought the individual seasons and movies, you’re not completely boned, either. Fox is reportedly selling a few empty heads to transfer your existing collection into.

Futurama: The Complete Collection 1999-2009 comes out just in time to re-watch or catch up on the series before Season 6 begins on June 10, 2010. Yes, Futurama is returning for a second run, thanks to a Season 6 & 7 pick-up by Comedy Central! Hopefully Fox will, in due time, make a torso to attach to Bender’s head so that his chest compartment can be stacked with future seasons’ discs.

Order now at Amazon.com:
Futurama: The Complete Collection 1999-2009

Or order directly through the 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment website.

Futurama: The Complete Collection 1999-2009 is distributed by Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, a division of Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. For more information, please visit the official Futurama website.

“Save the Murlocs” Plush Toy and T-Shirts

The group Druids for the Ethical and Humane Treatment of Animals is recruiting World of Warcraft players for their Save the Murlocs campaign. If you haven’t heard of the movement yet, check out the informative (and highly entertaining) Save the Murlocs PSA. Blizzard Entertainment, J!NX, and Hot Topic have already endorsed D.E.H.T.A., creating special merchandise to help them in their fundraising efforts.

World of Warcraft Talking Murloc Plush Toy

J!NX, hand-picked by Blizzard Entertainment, has been producing a fully licensed Official World of Warcraft Collection since 2006. In addition to an extensive line of clothing and accessories, they created the World of Warcraft Talking Murloc Plush Toy:

Adopt your very own TALKING Murloc! For too long, these majestic creatures have been the subject of cruelty. The J!NX crew fully supports the Save the Murlocs Campaign!

Recently updated for the “Save the Murlocs” campaign, the toy now includes a special extra:

Each Murloc comes with an official adoption certificate emblazoned with your rescued Murloc’s name. Hang it with pride in your bedroom, office or guild hall!

Printed on cream-coloured paper in green, black, and shiny gold ink, the fancy adoption certificate comes in an envelope marked with the “Save the Murlocs” logo, beneath which “Official Adoption Certificate” is written in a calligraphic font. It’s exciting to open the document and discover which random name has been assigned to your Murloc. In the case of the one being reviewed here, he (or, possibly, she — it’s hard to tell with these amphibious creatures) turned out to be named Grimz.

The plush Murloc is packed in a cardboard box that resembles a live animal shipping crate. Simulated wood planks are stamped “imported from Azeroth”, and the front of the crate has a big, splintered hole in it where the plastic window would normally be, as if the contained Murloc has tried to claw its way out during transport. There’s no need to fear this little Murloc, though. No bigger than a small cat, it’s clearly a baby, the perfect size to fit on your lap while you play World of Warcraft, or drape over your arm and stroke in evil genius fashion. It even “purrs”, making the Murloc’s distinctive “rwl” sound when you press under its chin to activate the voicebox mechanism, which is quite clear without being overly loud. The arms and legs have wire armature for better shape retention, but the toy is still soft and cuddly, with its variety of brightly-coloured, tactile fabrics inviting frequent pettings. Most notable is the Murloc’s green “skin”, a low-pile, textured plush that shimmers with a subtly detailed fish-scale pattern, except where wetly glossy fabric paint is used to apply the stripes lining the array of orange felt spikes along the spine. The overall result is an authentically aquatic-looking Murloc.

"Save the Murlocs" T-Shirts

Hot Topic’s contribution to the campaign is a pair of exclusive t-shirts that are available only in their retail stores. The Hot Topic Exclusive “Save the Murlocs” T-Shirt comes in a men’s/unisex style, and for the ladies there’s the Hot Topic Exclusive World of Warcraft “Save Me” Women’s Tee. Made of thick, soft cotton, the t-shirts feature large graphics screen-printed in bold, eye-catching colours that will definitely get your message noticed. A hang-tag on the shirts promotes savethemurlocs.org, with four peelable Murloc stickers on one side, two of which incorporate the website’s URL.

World of Warcraft Murloco's Tacos T-Shirt

For those of you who simply refuse to be converted to the Murlocs’ cause, J!NX (reluctantly, one presumes) offers a World of Warcraft Murloco’s Tacos T-Shirt to wear instead. To you heathens, the Murlocs have just one thing to say: RWLRWLRWL!

Order directly through the J!NX website. Bonus: each package comes with a sticker sheet plus any available catalogues or other promotional materials.

The World of Warcraft Talking Murloc Plush Toy and World of Warcraft Murloco’s Tacos T-Shirt are distributed by J!NX, in partnership with Blizzard Entertainment. The Hot Topic Exclusive “Save the Murlocs” T-Shirt and Hot Topic Exclusive World of Warcraft “Save Me” Women’s Tee are distributed by Hot Topic, in partnership with J!NX and Blizzard Entertainment. For more information, please visit the official World of Warcraft website.

“Death Note: L, Change the World”, a New Novel from VIZ Media

Death Note: L, Change the World

Death Note began as a Japanese manga series that was published between 2003 and 2006. It was hugely popular and spawned 3 live action films, an anime series, novels, video games and other merchandise. The anime is virtually identical to the manga, while the films’ plot deviates in small but significant ways.

The new novel Death Note: L, Change the World from VIZ Media is based on the third live action film. For those of you who may not have heard of it, Death Note follows the case of a “Righteous” Serial Killer called Kira who targets criminals and the corrupt. The mysterious circumstances surrounding the deaths of those “Judged” by Kira catches the attention of the world’s greatest detective, a mysterious unseen figure who goes by the name L. Kira appears to be able to kill anyone from any distance simply by knowing their name and their face, something easily learned from television, newspapers and the Internet. Based on the first reported incidents, L’s search for Kira leads him from the U.S. to Japan.

Once in Japan, L puts together a special team where everyone’s true identities are kept secret in order to prevent Kira from being able to target them and thwart their attempts at stopping his “Justified” killing spree. As crime and violence drops around the world, Kira becomes elevated to savior in the minds of many people, further complicating L’s efforts to capture Kira. When Kira acts on information that was not released to the public and then begins to target those who are investigating him, L begins to suspect that the person behind the killings is the gifted university student Light Yagami. Light is not only the son of the local Police Chief and interested in Law Enforcement but has used his brilliant deduction skills to assist the police in several high profile crimes. He has a strong sense of justice and has become disillusioned by the increasing crime and corruption in the world around him. L recruits Light in the effort to track Kira not only because his brilliance rivals L’s own but because he continues to suspect that Light truly is Kira. As events unfold, L discovers how Kira is able to kill his victims: by writing their name in a Death Note, the notebook used by Shinigami (death gods or grim reapers) to end human lives.

Death Note: L, Change the World takes place over a 20-day period after the resolution of the Kira case. If you’ve seen the films, the events in this book occur between the final showdown and the ending scene of Death Note II: The Last Name. Just as most films adapted from novels have significant differences, Death Note: L, Change the World has significant differences between this novel and the film version of the story. The plot of the film is generally followed but some events in the film are referred to rather then shown in the novel and others are left out entirely. There are also characters in the film who are combined with others, changed or absent in the book.

First of all, I have to say the book is gorgeous. The back and front covers are decorated edge to edge with full color illustrations featuring L. The dust jacket is a heavy, transparent vinyl with the gold-lettered title stamped into the cover and illustrations on both the front and back inside covers where liner notes usually appear. Another full color illustration of L graces the first “page” of the book and has a transparent vellum overlay that includes an image of Light offering him the Death Note. There are several illustrations in the index of the book and the top of each page includes a graphic timeline so you can track the days with a glance, as time is very important in the events of L, Change the World. There’s even a satin ribbon to mark your place as you read. This high-quality volume will make a beautiful addition to your Death Note collection.

As for the story, L, Change the World covers L’s final case before passing the L mantle on to someone new. After having finally unmasked Kira, L is called upon to stop a global epidemic when a bio-terrorist group called Blue Ship steals a virus that they plan to use to destroy a significant portion of the human population, to “save the Earth” and create a better place for humans. Akin to Ebola but 100 times worse, those infected begin to develop lesions and bleed from the eyes, ears, nose and mouth as it rapidly progresses once it leaves its two-week incubation stage. L is on the run from the terrorist group and the FBI, and in the company of a little girl who holds the key to creating the antivirus.

In the midst of this cat-and-mouse game, where everyone seems to have a double agenda, there is also an underlying theme of redemption. As the characters face difficult choices, some based on hope and others on hopelessness, L stresses that while “even a genius can’t change the world alone,” each of us can play our part in making things better.

While the novel is only 188 pages long, it definitely covers a lot of ground and contributes greatly to the Death Note storyline. L, Change the World provides not only more background information about the mysterious Wammy House, the orphanage for gifted children where L grew up, but a little bit more about L’s background. We also gain insight into L’s thought process and see a side of him that wasn’t present, or only hinted at, in the anime and films.

After having seen all 37 anime episodes and 3 films, as well as a fair portion of manga, reading L, Change the World was the first time I truly liked L and felt any empathy for him, even moving me to tears. While the films and manga focused on his odd behavior and deduction process, L, Change the World gives you a peek into his thoughts and feelings as well as his logic.

While the book is significantly different from the film, I think it is a much better story. The characters, their motivations and the plot line are all more complex and have a good message as well. It is a bit melodramatic and even a tad bit silly at times, but that should be expected since it was also commonplace in the films and anime. Because of L, Change the World, I’m seeing the entire series with a new perspective and might want to revisit it soon as a result of having gained that perspective. I’d also be very interested in reading more Death Note novels by M, the mysterious author of this tome, as I feel that L, Change the World is a great contribution to the Death Note saga.

You can learn more about or purchase Death Note: L, Change the World and the rest of the Death Note series at the VIZ website and watch the anime series at Hulu.